Dying To Be Yours
by lancer365
Summary: After an argument tears her relationship with Suyin apart, Kuvira disappears; traveling down a destructive path of her own creation. Disgruntled and tortured by memories of a relationship that had passed, she shows up again months later at the doorstep of the Beifong family house...with a gun; proving that real love does not die easily with words alone, unless you force it to. AU


**Author's Note: Modern AU...**_**and**_** I don't really know what to say about this, except that this has the same characters I normally use; just set in a different world. Honestly, I don't think most of you are going to like this one; it's a little…different .lol. Anyways, I'm not going to say anymore about it... So, just go for it. ;)**

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><p><span><em><strong>Dying<strong>_** to be Yours**

"Kuvira, what are you doing?" Yun sat up straight in the passenger seat, watching two white lights slowly approach them through the darkness, rapidly getting closer. "What the _hell_ are you doing?"

The lights began to blind them through the windshield of the car. Yun reached out for the wheel. Grabbing it, she yanked it to the side, startling Kuvira from her daze. Swerving the car into the right lane from which she had veered; Kuvira shook her head as she tried to navigate the dark back road through blurry vision.

Pressed to the passenger door, Yun looked over to Kuvira with fear widened eyes. She felt like she had entered a car with a murder and not her best friend. "Shit dude, Are you _trying_ to kill us?" She said through heavy breaths, slowly trying to calm herself down. "A-a-are you sure…you don't want me…to drive?"

Inching her way back into the seat, Yun stiffly released her hand from the death grip she had on the handle of the door.

"No, I'm good…everything just looks a little fuzzy."

"Oh I'm _sure_ it looks _pret-ty fuzzy_ after 7 cans of alcohol." Yun said, watching the road carefully; acting as Kuvira's second pair of eyes. "I can't believe I'm letting you drive to…" she threw her hands up, "…God knows where."

Yun turned to Kuvira, looking at the woman's half-lidded eyes darting lazily over the dark road. "You know what; I was an idiot to think that a drunken woman could drive. Stop the car Kuvira." She listened to Kuvira growl under her breath. "Kuvira I-"

"I said, I'm fine!"

"You're fine, well then you gotta be fuckin' kidding me; because I'm pretty sure you just almost killed us."

Kuvira sighed, speaking in a softer tone. "We're almost there anyways."

"Almost _where_?"

"It doesn't matter."

Yun gave up, turning her head to look back out the windshield at the shadows of the trees lining the road. The headlights didn't provide much relief from the black hole it seemed like they were driving into. They were half blind on the road, not knowing what could come out of the shadows.

It was hard enough for Yun to see farther ahead of them; So she could only imagine what everything looked like to Kuvira.

Yun would have continued to press Kuvira for the keys, but arguing with her was always a stupid move, since the other woman was too stubborn to ever give in to anyone else; and that stubbornness was only heightened in her drunken state.

"Like a daughter, huh…just a daughter?"

Slowly turning her head to Kuvira, Yun let her eyes briefly graze over the open 8th can that had yet to be touched, as she listened to the woman speak to herself in hushed tones.

Continuing to whisper angry words under her breath, Kuvira's knuckles had gone white gripping the steering wheel in her hands.

"Wait; is _that_ why you're mad and rampaging through the streets?" Yun asked, staring at Kuvira with an incredulous look on her face. "All this because I told you what I _happened_ to overhear Suyin saying to someone else about you?"

Looking back to the windshield, Yun rolled her eyes before noticing the first splash of rain hit the glass. _'Great, just what we need…now I'm stuck in a car with a drunken lunatic friend who can barely see, and it's gonna rain on top of that…Yup, I'm going to die tonight.'_

Pulling her head to the side, Yun gazed out the passenger window, watching the dark forest trees pass. "What's so wrong about Suyin saying you're like a daughter to her?" She shrugged. "Sounds kinda nice actually; that she would think of you like that and all." Yun dragged a hand through her dark hair. "Damn, I mean I wish the boss recognized _me_ like that."

Kuvira snapped her head around to look at the back of Yun's head with raging eyes. "That's not good enough!" Feeling the car sway in her control, Kuvira quickly turned her attention back to the road. "She's just saying that to cast me aside and down play what our relationship really was..._even_ after _everything_ we've been through together."

Yun furrowed her brow, trying to comprehend Kuvira's words in the most rational way. She shifted her eyes down to gaze into the fabric of her dark-wash jeans. _'I knew they were close, but she couldn't possibly mean…no, of course not.'_

Looking over to Kuvira, she watched the woman wring her hands around the steering wheel, as she listened to her breathing grow more erratic in her enraged state.

"What are you talking about?" Yun disbelieving smiled at Kuvira. "I know you can't be telling me that you and Suyin have been…you know, sleeping together."

Unable to contain it, Yun let a hearty laugh rip through the silence of the car. "That would be _very_ hard for me to believe."

Kuvira stayed silent as she turned the car into a gated suburb.

It wasn't really accurate to call the place a suburb, since the houses were more like estates; sitting on large plots of land, with plenty of space separating them from their neighbors; some even isolated on the tops of private hills.

The rain that began to fall harder against the windows made Kuvira's already impaired visibility even worse; making it difficult for her to maneuver in between the luxury cars that lined the streets, sitting outside of their owners' houses. She had finished those other drinks hours ago, but the alcohol was still affecting her system, and only very slowly beginning to wear off.

With the rain getting worse by the minute, Kuvira resorted to driving from memory down the roads she knew all too well.

Working as an assistant for the high-ranking lawyer, Kuvira had travelled many times down the same roads to the older woman's house; sometimes for work-related things, and sometimes for more personal related things.

As the years passed, Kuvira's face became a common sight around the Beifong household. Bataar Sr. was never too suspecting of his wife's long nights and random work-related emergencies; because he knew her job demanded a lot of time and dedication, often taking her focus away from the family for extended periods of time.

But now it felt strange to go back to the house, since she had quit working for Suyin months ago. It was after a heated argument between them that Kuvira left; quitting her long standing job in the process.

Contrary to what everyone believed, the argument that forced them apart had nothing to do with anything work-related.

Normally Kuvira couldn't stand to watch Suyin cry; but that night was the one time she could. She left Suyin a mess of tears, even as the woman begged for her not leave.

Getting closer to the house's street, Kuvira spared a glance to her wrist; feeling it burn with the ghosted remembrance of Suyin's iron grip, that had held her back in a futile attempt to prevent her from walking out that night.

Kuvira couldn't recall much from the argument itself. At the time, her mind had been lost in a blinded anger.

But she did remember clearly what made her turn around and pry Suyin's fingers from her arm. It was the question the older woman had asked her; which had been left ingrained in her mind, word for word.

Still hearing the exact conversation replaying in her head; everything else in the present began to fade into the background.

"_What's the point of us acting like we'll have the relationship that we know we never will?"_

"_What's the point?" "Because I __**love**__ you; and __**that**__ should be enough right there."_

Suyin never answered her back; and it was the woman's silence that told her more than any words ever could. She remembered how exhausted the older woman looked, sitting on the edge of the bed, with a hand over her eyes.

Blinded by love, Kuvira never paid attention to what it was doing to Suyin; and therefore, she couldn't feel any guilt for what she didn't see; _or really, _what she didn't _want_ to see.

Some rational part of her had seen the argument coming; but still she blatantly chose to ignore Suyin's expressed doubt about their relationship.

Earlier in that same week, Suyin had told her that she was getting tired of playing childish games; sneaking around and covering things up with lies when she needed to. But even that hadn't made Kuvira as angry as Suyin's question did the next night.

Hearing Suyin ask "what was the point?" had snapped something within Kuvira; forcing her to accept the reality she tried to run from; the reality that her "boundless love" actually had boundaries...and a time limit.

To Kuvira, it sounded like Suyin was telling her that it wasn't worth anything to keep their relationship alive; and that's when she stormed out of the room with the older woman following her, after a moment of hesitation.

Kuvira's memory skipped into a sudden blur; until the next image she saw was herself opening the front door to Suyin's house; being held back by the older woman before she turned to look into her pleading eyes. Kuvira had pulled Suyin's hand from her arm; holding it for a split second as she felt her angry resolve breaking.

It was hard for her to remain angry with Suyin for any long extent of time. But if she had walked back, scooping up the crying woman into her arms, she would have only been giving in to the same unhealthy cycle of pain and love that colored their unpredictable relationship.

After the ordeal, Kuvira started to drink more; hoping to forget Suyin and lose the memories that held her down inside the pit she was trying to climb out of.

Ironically, what the alcohol phased out were the good memories. The bad ones seemed to haunt her no matter what she did or how much she drank.

Bringing herself back from her thoughts, Kuvira felt the change in the atmosphere of the car. She sighed, deciding to spare a glance over to Yun who had gone mysteriously silent. Turning her head, she saw the other woman's widened eyes staring at her as her mouth hung open agape. "What?"

"You aren't _serious_ about sleeping with Suyin are you?"

Kuvira focused back out to the road, crunching her eyes into an angry glare. "Why is it so hard to believe?"

"Oh, I don't know; maybe because…she's a faithfully married woman with 5 kids."

Yun closed her eyes, leaning back into the chair, as she attempted to relax for the first time since she had gotten into the car. "And besides, even if something really did happen between you two; I can't imagine why you'd ever believe it'd last."

The car suddenly came to a screeching halt in the middle of the road; throwing Yun forward before she froze, figuring too late that her words were the wrong ones to say. Watching Kuvira angrily throw open the driver side door only to get out into the pouring rain, made Yun want to sink further into her seat and disappear.

She didn't like it when Kuvira drank because when she did, it was for a reason. Something bothered her enough to make her want to forget. But on the other side of that bottle or can, she didn't know who her friend would become.

Casual social drinking left Kuvira's normally uptight personality slightly relaxed. Add in 2 or 3 more drinks and she became irritable; her patience tested by every sound or sight she didn't want to hear or see.

Tonight was one of the rarer nights, where Kuvira drank more than her fair share, and the cans littered on the floor behind her were proof of that. One for each problem she wanted escape from.

Some might have questioned the kind of friend Yun was for not stopping Kuvira when she had the chance. In truth, it was because she feared for her own life when Kuvira went too far. Doing so much as saying the wrong thing could throw the other woman into a blood rage, making her a violent drunk; maybe even with the will to kill.

Yun had also noticed lately how guarded Kuvira was around the topic of Suyin; opting to either stay silent when people talked or asked about her; or on the bad days, she'd just get up and leave.

Kuvira had told her about her fight with Suyin; albeit in an abridged version.

Yun had Inferred from the gaps left in the story for her to fill in on her own, that the fight -bad enough as it was- had been the reason Kuvira quit the job she had had for so long.

At work Yun had even noticed that with the absence Kuvira, Suyin wasn't emotionally all there anymore either. Her mood had depressed; and the woman who normally enjoyed her job, now sat through meetings with a blank face, waiting for the day to end.

It was around that same time that she noticed Kuvira's demeanor start to change for the worst; and that's when the drinking began to become a regular daily occurrence for Kuvira.

Slowly connecting the dots between the parallels of both of their morose dispositions, Yun sighed; knowing that Kuvira wasn't lying about her and Suyin.

The more she thought about it, sitting frozen in the car, the less unbelievable it became that Kuvira's relationship with Suyin went beyond a work-related camaraderie.

Hearing the wet muffled crunch of Kuvira's foot steps approaching her side of the car, Yun absent-mindedly lifted her hand up in an urge to lock the doors; but before she could do anything, her door swung open.

Yun hesitantly looked up at Kuvira's hovering form. Her eyes trailed past the woman's dark jeans that had taken on an almost black color, to her deep green button-up that was appearing just as dark soaked by the rain. Some of the cold water that cascaded down Kuvira's body or that dropped from her face, landed like little pricks onto Yun's arm that rested closest to the opening of the door.

Kuvira stared down at her with dark passive eyes; her shoulders moving up and down with every breath she took. But, it seemed odd to Yun that Kuvira's face lacked the emotion that her body was displaying.

In a sudden rushed movement, Kuvira reached into the car; noticing Yun recoil, as she opened the glove compartment by the other woman's legs, taking out the Colt 1911 she kept stowed away.

"Woah, ok ok I'm sorry…jeez." Yun raised her hands in defense as her eyes darted back and forth between Kuvira and the gun. "You're not going to kill me, are you?" She asked, looking into Kuvira's glazed over eyes. "I mean we're…we've been friends for a long time…so I said something stupid about Suyin, sorry about that…I mean I-I totally believe it now that you and her a-"

"Take the car and go." Yun stopped with her mouth open at hearing Kuvira drone like tone. She let her eyes break from the other woman to look out of the windshield.

Through the rain hitting the glass, she could make out Suyin's house just down the long dirt driveway. She had been so worried about what Kuvira was going to do to her, that she hadn't even realized where the car had stopped. _'Why are we here?'_

Squinting her eyes down the road, Yun slowly turned back to Kuvira whose eyes were trained on the metal frame of the gun in her hand. The person standing above her only slightly resembled her best friend. Yun could see Kuvira trying to empty her eyes of any emotion they held, and it was scary to think of what the other woman had planned in her mind that made her want to desensitize herself.

"There's something I have to do, and I won't need the car anymore; so just take it and go."

Yun stepped out of the car; her own dark hair getting wet by the rain. "Kuvira, don't do anything you're gonna regret."

"Trust me; this is something I won't regret."

"Kuvira lo-"

Kuvira pointed the weapon at Yun. "_Don't_ talk to me about it anymore!" She gestured with the gun over to the car. "Just get the hell out of here; and don't come back."

"Ok ok, just…just think about what you're doing."

"I already did; now _go_."

Shaking her head, Yun circled the car.

"Thanks." Kuvira said with a softer tone, as she reached out and closed the passenger door, before looking back up to Yun, who had paused with her hand on the roof of the car.

"For what ?"

"Just thanks."

Yun nodded. "Yeah ok…don't do anything stupid Kuvira, really."

Getting into the driver's seat, Yun sighed, holding her hand over the gear shift for a moment before shifting out of park and turning the car around. She spared a last glance through the rear view mirror at Kuvira standing in the middle of the dirt road. _'God, what is she going to do?'_

After watching the taillights of her car disappear around a corner, Kuvira turned; setting her eyes on Suyin's house in the distance.

The only thing standing between her and the front door was the driveway.

Kuvira stood, blinking away the rain running down her face that made her slightly clearing vision revert back to its cloudy blur. She looked at the gun, letting the rain drop from her face onto its chilled metal. Sighing, she shifted her eyes back up, gazing ahead at her destination for a moment before her face morphed into an angry glare of determination.

The first step she took out of her frozen stance was a heavy one. Her legs were weighed down by the rain soaked jeans she wore, and her mind was left clouded in an emotive haze; brought on by a combination of the alcohol and the emotions she tried to push away.

"They were all lies Kuvira; nothing but lies." She spoke to herself, hearing Suyin's voice echoing in her head like a recording as she moved towards the house.

'_I want you to stay with me'_

Kuvira pulled her boots out of the mud they clung to; her feet lagging on each step.

'_Kuvira, come here.'_

She ran a hand down her face; wiping away the escaping tears that had mixed with the rain.

'_I'm here with you now; don't worry about how long we'll be together.'_

Kuvira's hand gripped the cold steel of the gun tighter as she continued to move forward.

'_I need you too'_

Kuvira stopped in her tracks almost to the house. "But, do you _love_ me?" She said, letting the sound of her own voice bring a reality to the thoughts in her head.

Suyin always avoided answering that question, and it was hard for her to understand why. If the older woman really did love her, there wouldn't have been any hesitation or doubt in her mind.

Kuvira's thoughts began to swim through her head faster and faster; dizzying her in the memories of Suyin she wanted so desperately to forget.

She could remember the feel and warmth of their bodies pressed together; the soft touch of the older woman's lips on her own; and the endearing smile Suyin saved for no one but her.

Dropping to her knees in the mud, Kuvira let every memory and feeling envelope her, as she drowned in a new-found kind of darkness; One that wasn't actually dark at all. Instead, it was more of a self-created suffering brought on by love.

"Get out of my head." Kuvira leaned over; placing her hands out in front of her, as she stared down at the ground below, watching the water droplets hit the earth's surface. She clenched her teeth, shutting her eyes tight as she slammed a fist into wet dirt. "Get. Out. Of my head."

Kuvira dragged her hands back to her, releasing the mud she had grabbed out of anger, before she took in a few deep breaths to control her uneven breathing. "Please..."

Resting on her elbows, she ran her hands behind her head._ 'It wasn't supposed to end like this Suyin'_

Lifting herself up, she sat back on her heels and gazed at the house in her view. "You're probably in there now…living life...like you never even knew me." She stood up, feeling a shiver shoot through her body from the cold rain.

Closing her eyes, she inhaled a last deep breath. "You can't forget about me that easy." She opened her eyes with a renewed drive locked inside of them. "I won't let you."

Pushing the thoughts away into the recesses of her mind, Kuvira pressed forward; led by a compelling force of her own creation. With every strike of her heel to the ground, she felt a surge of adrenaline begin to pump through her veins as she neared the front door. Her heart rate sped up reaching the wooden steps, as her mind flushed out any rationality that was still left.

Coming to a stop on the porch, Kuvira stared at the door while turning back was still an option. But she had already come too far and through too much to let it go so soon; and with that she raised her hand, knocking on the door.

"Who is it?" Bataar's voice rang out from the other side.

Smiling, Kuvira stepped to the side, effectively hiding herself from the view of the door's peephole.

At the lack of response, Bataar's curiosity got the better of him and he opened the door; just like Kuvira planned he would. She stepped into his view, letting his eyes graze over her wet form; taking in her unsettled state. "Kuvira…w-what are you doing here?"

Kuvira smirked, slowly raising the gun to aim at his head. "Shh…I don't want to be forced to kill you. I just want to have a _chat_ with your wife for a minute or two."

Bataar looked back inside the house and down the hall, trying to maintain his composure in the face of death. He tightened his grip on the door. "Look, s-she's pretty busy right now." He turned back to Kuvira, seeing her eyes had darkened, watching her move her second hand to the gun. Those were the eyes of a killer and not of the assistant who used to work for Suyin.

Suyin didn't tell him much about why Kuvira quit. In fact, he sensed that she didn't really want to speak of it at all. The only reason why she told him anything, was because the rest of the family wouldn't stop asking her questions about where Kuvira had gone; Opal had been the worst.

She and Kuvira had formed an interesting kind of friendship over conversations about books and advice. Over the years, Bataar watched as his daughter's slight curiosity with the older woman grow into a full-blown fascination.

When he mentioned it to Suyin, he remembered watching her freeze in place where she stood in the kitchen, staying silent for a moment before waving him off and saying _"Don't worry about it Bataar_."

And he didn't; he barely thought anymore of it, until after a casual conversation with Opal had turned into something resembling more of a subtle confession of hidden feelings.

It was the glazed over look in her eyes, and the almost endearing soft tone of her voice every time she spoke about Kuvira, that made him sure she had deeper feelings for the woman.

When Kuvira disappeared, he noticed Opal had become a little bit more distant. He assumed it was because she had lost someone that she considered a close friend. Kuvira had always been Opal's relief from a family of boys & men, and no one had seen her for months.

But now she was back; paying them a surprise visit with a gun in her hand, asking for Suyin.

When Bataar saw Kuvira's eyes shift down to the ground, he used the opportunity of distraction to briskly attempt to close the door, only to hear the loud smack of the gun hitting the wood.

"Yeah, I knew you were going to do that." Kuvira pushed herself inside, finding refuge from the rain, as the water from her clothes dripped down onto the marble floor. Dropping the gun to her side, she briefly closed her eyes, letting the fresh scent of preparing food hit her nose.

"Bataar wh-" Suyin came out of the kitchen; the sleeves of her dark shirt rolled up to her elbows as she moved down the hall, approaching the open area by the front door. The closer she got, the slower her pace became as her face dropped and her eyes widened, realizing who the dark figure was standing in the middle of the room.

Kuvira gave one of her entrancing crooked smiles, watching the silver buttons of Suyin's shirt give off a glare in the recessed lighting above, before their eyes connected. "_Just_ the woman I wanted to see."

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><p><strong>Author's Note(2)- So this may not be my strongest story, but I just wanted to release this part and see how it does. This is really just a random concept I came up with after I <em>happened<em> to watch a few Lifetime movies. lol. But if this doesn't do that well, I probably won't think too much more about it, and ****instead**** just move onto something else. lol. So tell me, is it worth continuing this one or _no_?**


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